Wednesday, July 1, 2015

House Anxiety

I love reading decorating and design blogs.  I pour over the words.  I pin all the pictures.  And then I dream,  "wouldn't it be lovely to live in a house like that ...", "if only my house ..."

After staring at my screen dreams, I look up and see reality.  Things are on the floor.  Papers and junk cover the surfaces.  It causes anxiety.  I need to clean.  Right now.  I need to fix all of this.  Right now.  But there is so much to do, where do I start.  I could start here in the living room.  But if I pick up a toy and return it to it's rightful room, I then get distracted by the mess there.  I must clean that.  Right now.  And when it's time to return something to it's rightful place from that room, the cycle starts all over again.

So I'm left with a messy house with a few things put away in their rightful places.  I've thought about options, I've researched, I've read books and they all do the exact same thing.  They cause more anxiety.

So I stop.  I look.  I think.

The couch, with pillows and blankets askew, may look messy but just a few minute it held my children playing a game together.  That, in and of itself, is something of a minor miracle. So I can look at it and smile.  The couch served it's function as a gathering place, warm and inviting, holding and providing comfort for those I love.  It makes my heart sing just a little bit.  I can accept that mess, no need to start there.  The anxiety lessens just a bit and I can focus my energy on things that need to be done.

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