For as long as I can remember I have wanted to create. As a pre-teen I made friendship bracelets and woven ribbon barettes. I moved on to t-shirts adorned with wedding rosebuds from the craft store. Once I think I tried to make a dress out of an old batik bedspread (it actually turned into a giant floor length poncho).
Once I discovered beads I had found my groove. I could string beads and make something beautiful. It was an amazing feeling. If I want a necklace, I could make one. And I did. Over and over again. I made them. I sold them at craft shows, farmer's markets, in stores and on-line. At one point I even quit my job to make jewelry full time. I had some success. I had a piece featured in a fashion spread in the local newspaper. My name was mentioned in the on-line version of Women's Wear Daily.
But life moved on, I went back to work and didn't have the time necessary to create as I would have liked. Then came kids and it all went out the window. I would go weeks or months without making something. I lost focus. I began to doubt myself. Then fear took over.
I'm not good enough.
I don't have style.
I'm not creative.
I believed it. Sometimes I think I still do. There is nothing I would love more than to create beautiful things, but ... So I don't.
I have bags and boxes full of supplies, paint, yarn, beads all waiting for that inspiration to strike. Pinterest both helps and hurts. I see all of the cool things I could make and I want to run out, get the supplies and start right now. But then I get overwhelmed with all of the things. It's too much. I can't right now. So I don't.
But when I do, it's totally worth it. In fact, despite all of my anxiety about creating, I actually have pieces I've created on display in my home. Sometimes I amaze myself.
Once I discovered beads I had found my groove. I could string beads and make something beautiful. It was an amazing feeling. If I want a necklace, I could make one. And I did. Over and over again. I made them. I sold them at craft shows, farmer's markets, in stores and on-line. At one point I even quit my job to make jewelry full time. I had some success. I had a piece featured in a fashion spread in the local newspaper. My name was mentioned in the on-line version of Women's Wear Daily.
But life moved on, I went back to work and didn't have the time necessary to create as I would have liked. Then came kids and it all went out the window. I would go weeks or months without making something. I lost focus. I began to doubt myself. Then fear took over.
I'm not good enough.
I don't have style.
I'm not creative.
I believed it. Sometimes I think I still do. There is nothing I would love more than to create beautiful things, but ... So I don't.
I have bags and boxes full of supplies, paint, yarn, beads all waiting for that inspiration to strike. Pinterest both helps and hurts. I see all of the cool things I could make and I want to run out, get the supplies and start right now. But then I get overwhelmed with all of the things. It's too much. I can't right now. So I don't.
But when I do, it's totally worth it. In fact, despite all of my anxiety about creating, I actually have pieces I've created on display in my home. Sometimes I amaze myself.
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