Lately I've been caught up in my head, running on Renee power.
I need to do this ...
I have to do that ...
I want ...
I ...
I ...
It gets frustrating to do this. I get angry. I am anxious, depressed and generally no fun to be around. Normal kid behavior results in yelling. Every comment is a criticism. It's exhausting.
Today started out like this. Another day of running all over town trying to find shoes that would fit my daughter. 3s are too small. 4s too big. Most stores don't carry 3 1/2s. Gah! But the mall yielded results, I found a few options to let her try on. (Of course I could have brought her along to eliminate some of the stress. But having someone complain about how they don't want to be there and don't care causes more frustration and stress.)
Relieved that I wouldn't have to go anywhere else, I wandered into the bookstore. I picked up some design magazines and a few inspirational books I had been meaning to check out. I've had this desire to start creating again so I figured I might find a few ideas. As I sat in my chair reading articles. looking at pictures and perusing passages, something hit me. The reason I have been so frustrated and in my head was because I haven't been looking for Grace.
I believe that God is always present in our lives. He is showing us example after example of his presence but we (ok I) don't really look for it. When I can glimpse those moments and signs my day turns around. I need to, I have to becomes I get to. I becomes You and We. Struggle becomes ease. Fear becomes faith and trust.
To find that all I have to do is look. It's so amazingly simple but it can be so hard to do.
After this realization, I vowed to look for signs of Grace. I decided to take pictures of them so I would have a reminder that I found it, I saw God for just a moment. It's something I could do each day, a gift to myself and to those around me.
Resolved, I immediately set out to find it. I got up, went downstairs and was half way out of the store before I realized that I had already found Grace today. It was sitting in the pile of books and magazines I left on the bookstore table. My gift of Grace was the moment I realized I could look for it. So I turned around, went back upstairs and found my pile of Grace just as I had left it.
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I need to do this ...
I have to do that ...
I want ...
I ...
I ...
It gets frustrating to do this. I get angry. I am anxious, depressed and generally no fun to be around. Normal kid behavior results in yelling. Every comment is a criticism. It's exhausting.
Today started out like this. Another day of running all over town trying to find shoes that would fit my daughter. 3s are too small. 4s too big. Most stores don't carry 3 1/2s. Gah! But the mall yielded results, I found a few options to let her try on. (Of course I could have brought her along to eliminate some of the stress. But having someone complain about how they don't want to be there and don't care causes more frustration and stress.)
Relieved that I wouldn't have to go anywhere else, I wandered into the bookstore. I picked up some design magazines and a few inspirational books I had been meaning to check out. I've had this desire to start creating again so I figured I might find a few ideas. As I sat in my chair reading articles. looking at pictures and perusing passages, something hit me. The reason I have been so frustrated and in my head was because I haven't been looking for Grace.
I believe that God is always present in our lives. He is showing us example after example of his presence but we (ok I) don't really look for it. When I can glimpse those moments and signs my day turns around. I need to, I have to becomes I get to. I becomes You and We. Struggle becomes ease. Fear becomes faith and trust.
To find that all I have to do is look. It's so amazingly simple but it can be so hard to do.
After this realization, I vowed to look for signs of Grace. I decided to take pictures of them so I would have a reminder that I found it, I saw God for just a moment. It's something I could do each day, a gift to myself and to those around me.
Resolved, I immediately set out to find it. I got up, went downstairs and was half way out of the store before I realized that I had already found Grace today. It was sitting in the pile of books and magazines I left on the bookstore table. My gift of Grace was the moment I realized I could look for it. So I turned around, went back upstairs and found my pile of Grace just as I had left it.
